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When I die, don't put me on display, cause I'll have saved enough money to be cremated in my favorite pajamas- and if eternity is as long as I've been told, I'm going to be comfortable, dress code be damned.
Put my ashes on a beach or better yet in the Missouri because I finally won't have to worry about dams and levees on a trip to the sea. Don't hire a preacher, get two security guards because when my family meets the friends I've made from all over the world, the good Lord said, let there be shenanigans. Tell everyone to bring food instead of flowers and I'll leave money for a bouncy house for the kids and if you're not dancing, you're not celebrating my life and I don't want you sitting this one out because crying while seated freezes the psoas muscles and if I'm dead I'm not leaving a legacy of joint dysfunction to the people I love. Life is art and I'm a medium and each of your hearts has been the gallery that's housed our friendship and when I'm gone I want the empty frames to be window panes that let the sunlight in, so
when I die, don't put me on display.